Things To Do In My Next Life

1. Be someone above complete obsurity, with name recognition next to God’s. Okay, maybe that’s too lofty a goal, but I want to be more than so-and-so in the back beside what’s-his-name. Who am I now? A clone, an unknown Joe, a face in the crowd, a drop in the ocean, a sheep in a flock, a cliché in the dictionary. A statistic for average. Normalcy incarnated, a fingerprint mass-produced.

2. Be shamelessly extravagant. Surround myself with expensive clutter. Live a glossy life. Increase myself by self-indulgence.

3. Be respectably intimidating. Give the kiss of death with a smile.

4. Be plugged-in, pumped-up, ready to rock and roll or whatever the hipped-up version of the Boy Scout motto is that day. Be prepared is so passé.

5. Be coveted. Let others be jealous of me.

6. Be animated. Walk and talk like a living cartoon.

7. Be right. Always, even when I’m wrong.

8. Be glossy. Live a magazine perfect life.

9. Be overrated. We all know and hate them for who they are. I want my fifteen minutes to last forever.

10. Stop making lists. And reading them.

(from HOW TO LIVE LIFE and other stories)




About John Northcutt Young

I write. Remember making-up stories from spelling words in the fifth grade. A journalism degree followed. Thanks for looking.
This entry was posted in Fiction and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Things To Do In My Next Life

  1. John Northcutt Young says:

    Reblogged this on Brevity.

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