1. BE SOMEONE ABOVE COMPLETE OBSURITY, with name recognition next to God’s. Okay, maybe that’s too lofty a goal, but I want to be more than so-and-so in the back beside what’s-his-name. Who am I now? A clone, an unknown Joe, a face in the crowd, a drop in the ocean, a sheep in a flock, a cliché in the dictionary. A statistic for average. Normalcy incarnated, a fingerprint mass-produced.
2. Be shamelessly extravagant. Surround myself with expensive clutter. Live a glossy life. Increase myself by self-indulgence.
3. Be respectably intimidating. Give the kiss of death with a smile.
4. Be plugged-in, pumped-up, ready to rock and roll or whatever the hipped-up version of the Boy Scout motto is that day. Be prepared is so passé.
5. Be coveted. Let others be jealous of me.
6. Be animated. Walk and talk like a living cartoon.
7. Be right. Always, even when I’m wrong.
8. Be glossy. Live a magazine perfect life.
9. Be overrated. We all know and hate them for who they are. I want my fifteen minutes to last forever.
10. Stop making lists. And reading them.